Darrian Graves - Interview
I hear a lot of Christians talking about ‘life verses’ what do you think your life verse is?
I probably have 2. One is Romans 5:8. It’s basically saying that even though we’re all sinners. Christ died for us. I think when I realized I was a sinner, I also realized I needed Christ. I actually have it as a tattoo. Having it as a tattoo serves as a constant reminder that I am a sinner in need of a savior. While I live on this earth I will always need a savior. Another would be Lamentations 3:22-23, which basically says “God’s mercies are new every morning.” That reminder of forgiveness has really stuck with me.
What book, other than the Bible, do you think has helped you the most?
Hmm, that’s a good question. “Soul Detox” by Craig Groeschel. That’s a very challenging book that really crafted the way that I live my life. I would recommend it to anyone looking to deepen their walk with Christ. Admittedly, I don’t listen to Craig Groeschel much as a pastor, but I do love his books. I think the book did very well what it promised to—a spiritual detox. In the book, Craig talks about this concept: things you watch, read, listen to, the things you consume, the way you live your life are all leading by example. It really is a Crash Course in removing sin from your life. That book was really good. Another book I’d recommend would be “Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson. It’s about prayer, so good.
What’s the most memorable church experience you’ve had?
Technically, this isn't a church, it was from my time at Liberty University. We used to do these things called “24 hours of prayer”. They would open the chapel for 24-hours. Every Saturday from 10pm-1am I would sit there and worship. That time during my Freshman and Sophomore years was when I really saw God tangibly move in my life.
So you’ve been to a lot of faith-centric events such as the recurring trips to Pineywoods whether it be for The Kingdom Generation Retreat or otherwise, when you think on those times is there a story that stands out?
I would say, theres 3.
- I went to a Bethel worship night my Junior year of college. For about 3 and 1/2 hours we just worshipped. I still say it’s the best concert I’ve ever been to
- Passion 2016 in Atlanta Georgia was AMAZING. John Piper, Ravi Zacharias, Christine Caine, Levi Lusko, Louie Giglio—That was incredible, to say the least. I will say, though, I’m not the world’s biggest fan of conferences. The reason for that is: if you’re not spiritually disciplined, I think you can get very easily caught up in that moment and lose yourself in that high. On the other hand, there is a lot of growth that can occur at a conference.
- Kingdom Generation Retreat 2019. Watching an event where— we had a girl, who was raised Mormon, coming to our small group. We started praying for her 2 months before. She ended up coming to Jesus at that camp. Her salvation led to somebody else coming to Christ, which then led to Abigail Hebert, Taryn Crew and Carly Counts giving their lives to Christ and helping start “Girl Gang” which has really empowered a lot of believers and raised up new leaders. Seeing that Domino Effect was really radical.
You’ve worn many different leadership hats in your life anywhere from small group leader, to the young adult pastor and several in between, so I wanted to ask: how has your experience as a LEADER helped you become a better FOLLOWER of Christ?
I think the best leaders understand people. The best leaders are transparent, honest, and relatable to people. You can’t lead anybody you don’t know. For me, I want to lead because I know who Jesus is. The more that I know who God is, the more I desire to lead that out. Of course, I’m not perfect, and I would never claim to be anything close to perfect, but every day I’m striving to look more like my leader, my God. In that striving, that overflow is good leadership. I believe that.
What’s one thing you think church teams focus on too much and what’s one thing they don’t focus on enough?
That’s an amazing question. I think one thing we focus on too much is the idea that one person can disciple, I wish we could get away from that. I’m so big on discipleship. I know some churches that have a “Discipleship Pastor” or “Discipleship Group”, but I believe that true discipleship happens in every relationship. If I’m not trying to disciple/pour into everyone I talk to, what am I doing? I don’t think we need to view discipline as this high echelon action that only a few can do, we all CAN and SHOULD do it always. My mandate outside of the Great Commission is to pour into everyone I come into contact with. I think that we have put pressure on that word and have basically said, “Only the pastor can disciple.” Something else we treat that way—and I might go on a little rant here—is this: The pulpit, I think, is an opportunity for us to share and speak to people in large groups. I think that small groups is the component we have to hit on harder. I can’t disciple anybody from the stage. I can’t give somebody advice from the stage. I can give them 30 minutes of my best interpretation of what God’s word says. Only so much spiritual growth can be born from me preaching onstage. In Small groups, however, provides accountability, community, relationship. That stuff happens on a day-to-day basis, not just when you go to church and hear a message on Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or whenever. We get pissed off at pastors for not speaking on certain things on Sunday, like “He didn't speak on sin, he didn't speak on grace, yada yada yada.” You can’t even understand theology in 35 minutes. It would be physically impossible for a preacher to fairly explain a Calvinistic Worldview in 35 minutes. So I say, if you want to be Armenian, Calvinist, or whatever, you have to be able to have follow-up conversations. You can’t rely on a 35-minute sermon to dictate an entire theology to you.
Do you think there’s a genre of music that Contemporary Worship Music could take some notes from?
Good question (pondered for a short while) Yeah, I do. There’s a band called Isla Vista Worship. They do like more indie stuff. Indie/Jazz/Soul/Worship vide. I think they make use of a lot more instruments than we typically hear in CCM stuff.
What’s an unexpected hurdle you’ve had to overcome in preaching?
I would say, the weight of speaking God’s word. That keeps me up at night, because I never want to even approach being wrong. I want to make sure it’s God speaking, not me. I always want to make sure his voice is moving through me.
As I mentioned, you’ve been a small group leader before, what are some unexpected challenges you’ve faced beyond distractions and disruptions?
The brokenness of anxiety and depression. It is real and it is rampant, especially in young adults. My heart breaks for people who deal with those afflictions daily. There’s no answer, all you can do is listen. I’m committed to walking that out, but it’s hard. Sometimes it’s draining, but its a commitment, if you’re going to walk with somebody going through that, you’ve gotta finish it.
So my experience with preachers is that they find a lot of inspiration from other pastors, so I wanna list off some prominent christian figures and just get your snap reaction to them, that sound good? Ok, let’s go, I’m ready.
- Matt Chandler Great guy, ultimate dad, I’ll say that.
- Voddie Baucham Challenging.
- Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Inspirational
- Tim Keller Wise
- A.W. Tozer Deep Understanding for who God is
- Charles Spurgeon Let me think of a good word. Intellectual, wait no, almost too smart for his own good haha.
- Ravi Zacharias Life-Changing
- Jonathan Edwards from that I do know, life-giving
So I can’t interview you without mentioning your time with Channel 6, during your entire time as a reporter, is there a particularly interesting or strange story that stands out?
There’s a lot, man. Reporting during Imelda or the TPC explosion were pretty wild. Just 24-48 hours of going nonstop. A story that stands out is when I got to report about a woman whose father needed a kidney transplant, and because of the story he got his transplant. Another story, Anthony Davis lives on the west end of beaumont, he went out to see his car being stolen, and when he started to intervene, he got shot. He was a great guy, and that tragedy just wrecked the community. I remember reporting on that. It’s a crazy business, I’ll say that. It’s definitely not for everyone. It’s cynical and dark, but it’s also fun being able to tell stories. It’s just not fun behind the scenes, I’ll say that.
I know you also went to Liberty University, and I’ve talked to a couple of other alumni and I’ve heard all good things. Is there a class or professor that particularly stands out in your memory?
Dr. Wheeler! He is the Evangelism 101 Teacher. Most people take that class their freshman year. It’s in this massive 700-person lecture hall. That whole class is just him pushing you to share the Gospel. He challenges with things like, “Why are you wearing headphones when you’re walking down the street? That’s an opportunity for you to share the Gospel.” or he would say, “Go downtown and just sit somewhere and share the Gospel with two random people, then come back to class and write a story on it.” He put the Gospel in the most practical form I’ve ever seen. Life changing. Dr. Wheeler’s the man, for sure.
I know you’re also a fan of basketball. Do you think there’s a team that deserves more recognition?
The Liberty Flames! I know I’m biased… but still. The Liberty Flames, for sure. I’m just all about the underdog. I love the story of mid-major schools winning against a top-tier school.
So I saw on your twitter, your top artist for Spotify in 2018 was Drake, do you still listen to much rap or hip hop these days? Same artists? Different artists?
You know man, I won’t lie to you, I don’t listen to as much Drake as I used to. I’m willing to say that I’m the biggest Drake fan in the history of the world. A lot, however, in recent times is just not Drake anymore. I still love him, I do, I love the guy to death, praying for his salvation, honestly. I think as I’ve grown older, though, I listen to more music and less lyrics. My last has also diversified to a lot of different types of music. But, after all that, I still love Drake and Justin Bieber, still a big fan of those guys.
If your high-school self could see you now, would they see you as successful?
No, bro. Not even close. Not even close to being close. I say this all the time: my high-school self and my high-school friends would not believe who I am today. No chance. I got radically saved when I was 18. I am a literal walking miracle. There are some people who knew me from high-school who say that there’s no way I could possibly be a “sold out for Jesus Christian” because of who I was in high school. Just to give some context, because it’s essentially my testimony. I was the craziest, most wild person you could ever think of. From cocaine to acid, to smoking pot, selling drugs, ad hooking up with girls. Everything you could think of, and then I just stopped because of God. So before God I was the worst of the worst, but during that time I was the star baseball player, the prom king, homecoming king, on the announcements every day at school, full ride scholarship and all these different things. I threw it all away to chase after God.
Do you have a favorite message you’ve ever heard?
Hoo, that’s a good question. Andy Stanley has this sermon series called “Guardrails” I’d highly recommend that. Also, Robert Madu has a sermon series called “Get Out” Those are two very influential ones to me.
Do you have a favorite message you’ve given?
Hmm, that’s tough. I would say the message I gave in April for PYA, called “On the Other Side.” Basically I focused on what we, as Christians, can do during the coronavirus so that we come out on the other side stronger. I’m also really proud of June’s PYA message, titled “A Summer to Remember”, I feel like that was really impacting for a lot of people.
What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome, and how did you overcome it?
Pride. I wish I could say I’ve overcome it. I have struggled with pride my entire life. It’s hard because more external sins seem easier to remove, like quitting some sort of substance abuse. It’s definitely hard, and I don’t want to diminish that, but it’s the internal sins that crush me, cuz there’s nothing I can just get rid of to make it easier. Doubt, fear, pride, I have to make sure I give those to God every day.
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Thanks so much for reading this interview. If you enjoyed it, consider reading another one of the interviews posted on my blog. I post every other Monday afternoon. If you have a suggestion of someone you'd like me to interview in the SETX area, let me know. Thanks again, have a wonderful rest of your day!
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